How To Win in the Tea Party

This will be the just a generic 6-pack plan for all Tea Party candidates to win and be the Presidential candidate for the Tea Party. For each individual to win, they must make sure all these things are done, and then take the others out. The individual actions I will describe later. But generically:
1. Keep in touch with Congress and make sure the Tea Party bloc in the House and Senate stay together. Block anything that any Democrat may try to enact into law. Remember Mitch McConnell's #1 item for this Congress: Make sure Obama isn't re-elected.
2. Ensure that nothing is answered correctly and with thought in any debate. Short, evasive answers are good, not answering the question and changing the subject is even better. In other words, keep the audience happy.
3. Use no 3 syllable words when a word with just 1 or 2 will do. Most people in the audience won't know what it means, anyway. 10 words in a sentence? At least 3 words too many. Need a good catch phrase? Quote the Bible, not anyone that was in any other book. Remember, if you say " Remember when it was said, 4 score and 7 years ago," everyone in the audience will wonder why you are quoting Shakespeare.
4. Science is your enemy, remember that. Stamp it on your forehead.
5. Went to college? No matter where you actually graduated in your class, tell the audience it was actually 100 places lower than that. If you graduated last in your class, start of every debate with this fact. In doubt, look in the mirror. You did stamp that motto that was rule #4 on your forehead, right? Good.   
6. Never back down to the President. He hasn't shown a spine yet, always backing down when his back against the wall. Don't give him room to breath.
Okay Tea Party candidates, there are your general rules. Now your job is to figure out if any or all of these ideas are real, or if there are any that I just threw in to see if you'd believe it at face value. In other words, my ideas have about as much basis in fact as yours do.
------- And who said I have no sense of humor--- HAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!

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